第1章 紧急通告：你，去给我上恋综。

Urgent Notice: You, go and appear on this dating reality show.

If you could live your life again, what position would you prefer to lie down and give up in the most comfortable way?

Lu Ming has been given a second chance at life. After spending half his life as a beast of burden, he now has a shortcut in front of him, and he vows to seize it.

He copied songs, books, and scripts without any psychological burden.

He doesn't have that kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder about moral purity or the bad habit of wanting to have it both ways.

He's just an ordinary person; he just wants to live an easier life.

If you don't steal or rob, why not?

When a guest is cooking, you play and sing "Ah Kei Kuli" (a popular Chinese song), making him never want to step into the kitchen again.

A guest sang a sweet love song on a dating reality show, and your rendition of "Who" went viral online.

When guests wanted to hear stories, they readily quoted from "Ghost Blows Out the Light."

The production team was promoting local culture and tourism, and you carried a speaker and played a hardcore song and dance routine into the venue.

Haters are criticizing you for not having any work, but the pop diva is stepping forward to invite you to write a song.

Haters say you tell bad stories, but an award-winning actor wants you to write a screenplay.

Haters said you lack variety show skills, so the show's director immediately announced that they had invited you to be the producer of a new program.

The viewers in the live stream finally understood: you're just going to pull off one new skill every day, right?

This isn't some obscure, unknown nobody; this is clearly a monstrous dragon capable of wreaking havoc.

如果能重活一次的话，你想过用怎样的姿势躺平摆烂最舒服吗？
陆鸣重活了，当了半辈子牛马，这次有一条捷径摆在面前，他发誓，一定要抓牢。
抄歌、抄书、抄剧本，毫无心理负担。
他没那种精神洁癖、又当又立的臭毛病。
他只是个普通人，他只想这辈子活得轻松一些。
一不偷二不抢，为什么不呢？
嘉宾做菜，你弹唱《阿Kei苦力》，让他再也不想进厨房。
嘉宾在恋综上唱甜甜的情歌，你一首《谁》EMO全网。
嘉宾想听故事，《鬼吹灯》张口就来。
节目组替当地宣传文旅，你扛着音箱《打歌舞》硬控进场。
黑粉拉踩你没作品，小天后站出来邀歌。
黑粉说你故事讲得烂，影帝想请你写剧本。
黑粉说你综艺感差，节目组导演立马官宣请你做新节目的监制。
直播间的观众算是看明白了，你每天整一个活儿就爆一个技能是吧？
这哪是十八线糊咖小透明，这明明是条翻江倒海的恶蛟。