第1章 幽灵与恶魔书

Book of Ghosts and Demons

[HP fan fiction + no system + slow to warm up + funny and weird + single female protagonist] 
Neos lost his soul during the journey through time. He was smart and made a new body for himself. Although it has no soul, it is enough! 
——— 
Dumbledore: What is this? 
Neos: A demon, what else can it be? 
Dumbledore: Huh? 
——— 
Snape: You must stop using the power of the demon! 
Neos: But... we... are wizards... 
Snape: What's wrong with wizards? 
Neos: Of course wizards have to play with demons. They can't go to angels or people from the church, right? 
——— 
Harry: Neos! Azazel used strange magic on me again! 
Neos: Didn't you say you wanted Snape not to target you? 
Harry: There's no need to turn me into a girl! 
Ron: Yes, just turn Harry into a girl in the potions class. 
Hermione: Hurry up! Class is about to start! 
——— 
Azazel: If the sacrifice this time is still a pig's trotter or a pinkie, don't blame me for being passive. 
Neos: Here, piglets. 
Azazel: Asshole! I've had enough! Why is it always these things? 
Half an hour later Azazel: The piglets are delicious.

【HP同人+无系统+慢热+搞笑搞怪+单女主】
尼欧斯在穿越过程中丢失了自己的灵魂
聪明的他给自己制作了一具新的身体
虽然没有灵魂但是够用！
———
邓布利多：这是啥？
尼欧斯：恶魔呀，还能是啥？
邓布利多：啊？
———
斯内普：你必须停止使用恶魔的力量！
尼欧斯：可是...我们...是巫师啊...
斯内普：巫师怎么了？
尼欧斯：巫师当然得和恶魔一起玩呀，总不能去找天使或者教廷的人吧？
———
哈利：尼欧斯！阿萨谢尔又对我使用了奇怪的魔法！
尼欧斯：不是你说想让斯内普不针对的你吗？
哈利：那也没必要把我变成女生吧！
罗恩：对呀，魔药课时把哈利变成女生就可以了。
赫敏：你们快点！马上要上课了！
———
阿萨谢尔：这次的祭品如果还是猪蹄或小粉，你就别怪我消极怠工了。
尼欧斯：喏，猪咪。
阿萨谢尔：混蛋！我受够了！为什么每次都是这些东西！
半小时后
阿萨谢尔：猪咪真好吃。