第1章 豪门长孙，学院立威！

The eldest grandson of a wealthy family establishes his authority in the academy!

Reporter: Principal Li, your school is just a private college—why do global elites all want to become honorary alumni?

Li Mobai: Because we have the world’s best university-affiliated hospital. If the Eastern King of Hell wants you dead by midnight, our hospital will keep you alive till dawn! If the Western Grim Reaper wants to claim your soul, he’ll have to get our permission first! Become an honorary alumnus and enjoy exclusive medical services!

Reporter: Principal Li, as the only university in the country with its own high-speed rail station, are you proud?

Li Mobai: What’s there to be proud of? We’re planning to build a university airport next year!

Reporter: Principal Li, rumor has it that Shanhé University’s affiliated companies employ 1.8 million people—is that true?

Li Mobai: Of course that’s false!

记者：李校长，你们只是一所民办大专，为什么全球精英都想成为荣誉校友？
李墨白：因为我们有全球做好的大学附属医院，东方阎王要你三更死，我院留你到五更！西方死神想勾魂，先问我院让不让！成为荣誉校友，享受专属医疗服务！
记者：李校长，作为全国唯一有高铁站的大学，您是不是很骄傲？
李墨白：这有什么好骄傲的，我们计划明年建校属机场！
记者：李校长，听说山河大学附属企业有一百八十万员工，是真的吗？
李墨白：这当然是假的了！截止昨天，我们有员工两百万人，人均工资一万二，足额缴纳五险一金！朝九晚五，接下来，计划改双休为三休。每周只上四天班！
记者：李校长，请问贵校还缺记者吗？我想应聘！