001.专家说笑一笑能多活五秒

Experts say laughing can add five seconds to your life

Why don’t you take a good look at yourself when you get turned from a demon dragon into a blood princess maid by a Hero?

You got hit by a truck and transported to another world—how about blaming yourself for that?

You reincarnated as a villainous dragon that everyone wants dead—blame yourself for that too, okay?

You got turned into a purple-haired girl by the Hero, who then used all sorts of props to… ahem, “torture” you—can we talk about how maybe that’s also your own fault?

Why is it that the Hero is always picking on you?

Why are you the only one who got turned into a girl?

Why are you the one working all day only to go home and warm the Hero’s bed and fetch him hot water?

Maybe it’s all your fault, huh?

How am I supposed to beat a max-level Hero? I just reincarnated, haven’t even learned a single skill yet, and the guy shows up at my door in full god-tier gear—what am I supposed to do?

And then all my subordinates surrendered!

When they saw me getting beat up, they went nuts, laughing like maniacs, going, “Ahahaha!”

Then the Hero started showing off his magic combo like, “I’m gonna kill you!”

And all I could do was fall to my knees and beg, “It hurts! It hurts so bad!”

Played to death, schemed to death, and then you still ask me,

“Hey, why don’t you reflect on yourself a bit more?”

You’re so cute!

The craziest part?

When the Hero found out the truth, he actually said,

“Hey, we’ve lived together so long already—why don’t you just marry me?” (shocked face)

What the h*ll?!

He knows I’m a guy, and he still wants me to marry him?

I’ve already been turned into a woman, and you’re still talking about marriage? No way!

I’m a man inside! There’s no way I’d marry anyone!

Just then, a big hand lands on the purple-haired girl’s head.

“What? Marrying me is that upsetting?”

“No! I was just kidding… hubby

【变嫁1V1+搞笑+甜宠文+追妻】
被勇者从魔龙变成血姬女仆怎么不找找自己问题？
你出门就被大卡车创到异世界也找自己问题好不好？你转生成人人喊打的反派恶龙也找自己问题好不好？你被勇者变成紫毛少女，用各种道具调……咳，折磨也找自己问题好不好？
为什么勇者就欺负你呢？为什么就你被变成妹子呢？为什么你工作一天还要去给勇者大人烧水暖床呢？全部都找自己问题好不好！
我打个满级勇者我能怎么赢？我刚重生过来，一个技能还没学会，对面就直接神装打上门了，我能怎么办？
然后我的手下还全部投降了，看到我被打，那些人就跟疯婆一样“哎呀呀呀”就在那边狂笑。
然后勇者就在那边展示他的魔法连招“啊，杀死你啊！”
然后我就只能“痛，太痛了”在那边跪地求饶。
被玩到死，被套路到死，还有在问“哎呀，你怎么不多多找找自己问题呢？”你真可爱！
最离谱的是，这个勇者在知道真相时还在那说“哎呀，我们都住一起那么久了，你干脆嫁给我好了。”（惊叹脸）
他喵的，他知道我是男人啊，还要我嫁给他！
都变成女人了还不肯嫁人？我肯定不嫁啊，我内心是男人，我绝不可能嫁人！
这时，一只大手落在紫毛少女头顶。
“怎么？嫁给我委屈你了？”
“没有，我开玩笑的，老公！”