第 1章 懒惰的哥哥勤快的他

Chapter 1 The lazy brother and the diligent him

(Long novel, slow-paced, family-oriented + private + daily life focus + OOC warning + minor timeline adjustments. If you mind these, please skip. The protagonist group remains strong, regrets are resolved, and the protagonist does not fall in love.)

Bad news: Jian Yun blew himself up in his sect, ended up in a godforsaken place, and picked up a sixteen-year-old boy who introduced himself as Tom Riddle.

Good news: Jian Yun has plenty of treasures in his ring—more than enough to make his family rich.

Later, Jian Yun became the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts and led the young wizards down an irreversible path to power.

Who was it that forced the school board to urgently ban sword flying over the castle?
Who made Professor Snape declare that using cauldrons to cook hot pot is strictly prohibited?
Who caused Hogwarts to forbid little wizards from using lightning magic on ghosts?
Who covered the castle in hidden weapons, turning Death Eaters into unwitting victims?

Riddle and the Savior stood together, sighing:
"Did someone else do this? How can they be so stupid?"

As a student, Voldemort accidentally developed schizophrenia. After an incident, he and his secondary personality split apart. Fifty years later, he returned in a new body—only to find another person had taken everything he once desired. But the one responsible for it all simply scoffed:
"A rat in the gutter doesn’t deserve love."

Tom asked him seriously:
"Can you teach me what it means to love someone?"

After the war, Lily and Ariana became best friends.
Dumbledore and Grindelwald argued over sweet vs. salty tofu pudding.
And Professor Snape? He simply added a spoonful of chili oil to his bowl.

(tried manually fixing translation issues in the desc, and I'm never doing it again, took me 15 mins lol)

（长篇节奏慢，亲情向+私设多+偏日常+ooc警告+时间线小改，介意请绕行，不弱化主角团的实力，填补遗憾，主角不谈恋爱）
坏消息，简云在宗门瞎捣鼓给自己炸穿越了，掉在一片鸟不拉屎的地方，还捡到一六岁小孩，他说他叫汤姆•里德尔。
好消息，简云须弥戒里有一堆好东西，足够他家财万贯。
后来，简云成为了霍格沃兹的黑魔法防御术教授，带着小巫师们走向了一条强者的不归路。
是谁？让校董会紧急宣布禁止在城堡上空御剑飞行？
是谁让斯内普教授宣布严禁使用坩埚煮火锅？
是谁让霍格沃兹禁止小巫师对幽灵施展雷系魔法？
是谁在城堡周围布满暗器，让食死徒有来无回？
里德尔•简和救世主站在一起感慨：“这些事是另一个他做的？他怎么可能这么愚蠢！”

学生时代的伏地魔，不小心患了人格分裂症，一场事故后，他和副人格各奔东西。
五十年后，他带着新身体强势回归，却看到另一个他得到了他想要的所有，可造成这一切的那个人说，阴沟里的老鼠不配得到爱。
汤姆很认真地问他，那你可不可以教教我，什么是爱一个人的能力。

大战结束后，
莉莉和阿利安娜成为了好闺蜜，
邓布利多和格林德沃因为甜咸豆腐脑在吵架，
而斯内普教授淡定的往碗里加了勺辣椒油。