第1章 懒鬼系统在线送修为

Lazy Ghost System Online Cultivation

After transmigrating to a cold-hearted little town, Bigge felt like he was about to meet God any minute now…

“Ding! Host is on the verge of death. System forcibly activating.”

Bigge: “System bro! My dear brother! You’re finally here, hurry up and heal me!”

“System activation countdown: one hour.”

Me: “System, you son of a b*tch!”

—One hour later—

“The Preaching System is now at your service.”

Bigge, freshly fished out of the River of the Dead by a goddess: “Electronic tr*sh. This is what you call electronic tr*sh. System, you might as well just go die.”

…

System: “Transmitting cultivation of a Hunyuan Dao Immortal.”

Bigge: “Whoa, whoa whoa—my bad, I was too loud just now. Didn’t recognize your greatness, Lord System. My apologies!”

…

Church of Redemption.

Hero, witch, elf, dragon girl: “…Is there something wrong with the doctrine of our Church of Redemption?”

The priest dressed in a black-and-white Taoist robe: “What’s wrong with it? Think about it—has your mana gone up these years? Have you been meditating properly? If you’re this out of sync with the Church’s teachings, how can you expect to do the goddess’s work?”

穿越到人心冷漠的小镇，毕格感觉自己没几分钟要去见上帝了……
　　“叮！检测到宿主即将死亡，系统强制唤醒中。”
　　毕格：“统子！我的好兄弟！你终于来了，快奶我一口！”
　　“系统唤醒倒计时，一小时。”
　　我：“系统你#￥%&！”
　　一小时后
　　“证道系统为您服务。”
　　刚被女神从冥河打捞的毕格：“电子废品啊，这就是电子废品啊，系统你还是赶紧去死吧。”
　　……
　　系统：“混元大罗金仙修为传输中。”
　　毕格：“哎呀，哎呀呀呀，刚才是我说话太大声，没有认出系统大人真是抱歉呢。”
　　……
　　救赎教会。
　　勇者、魔女、精灵、龙娘：“……，咱们救赎教会的教义是不是哪里有问题?”
　　穿着黑白相间道袍的牧师：“哪里有问题，好好想想自己这么多年魔力涨没涨，自己有没有好好冥想，这么跟不上教会的思想，怎么给女神办事啊。”
日常向，搞笑文。
———
男主，多女主，系统上线光速下线，大罗非洪荒流大罗，无敌流，穿越爽文，介意勿入。
（内容纯属虚构）（狗头保命）