Hachiman Hikigaya: "No, please stop broadcasting! You'll get killed, you really will get killed!" Yukino Yukinoshita: "Hehehe, Hachiman-kun, another one! What am I supposed to do?" Haruno Yukinoshita: "Eh-le-le, ah-le-le-le, even I'm smitten after watching this." Yui Yuigahama: "Hachiman,..." Although it's a video, this isn't good. "Iroha Isshiki: 'Senpai, you have to take responsibility for me!'" Kawasaki Saki: "So I've already given myself away?" Totsuka Saika: "Why haven't I been chosen yet? Am I even a girl? I really want to be with Hachiman!" Hikigaya Komachi: "Eek! I'm not his biological child after all??? Get out of here, you stinky women, let go of my Onii-chan!" Kyoka, Rumi, Hina, Yumiko, Jun: "Even we have him???!!" "You guys are alright, I'm the most outrageous one!!!" Orimoto Kaori (ex-girlfriend): "Get out of here, I finally get to get married, and you're all trying to steal him away, get out of here!" Hiratsuka Shizuka

Wait! Let me take a moment! I traveled through time and became Hikigaya Hachiman's dad? A thirty-something man!? He just got released from the ICU due to the 996 work schedule? And got fired! My wife is Hikigaya Kazusa? But we're divorced? Or was it amicable?! Divorced and bankrupt, I had to find a manual labor job. The blind date my neighbor set me up with was my college junior, Hiratsuka Shizuka? And then one day, I ran into the beautiful university student Ichinose Honami on the street, who was being beaten? I want a cigarette!!!