[The heroine is wheelchair-bound, blind, and in the advanced stages of oripathy. Acceptable progress is currently underway.] Before you is—Kasimir's wanted criminal, the treacherous witch, Kjerag's honorary saint, Victoria's protector, Rhinelife's acting governor, Agor's distinguished guest, Iberia's candidate for sainthood! Terra's recognized white moonlight! —Miss Noa Kyrielight