First grade, Horatio: Headmaster, look, use this scythe of mine to hook out the soul, then lock it in this lamp and roast it with the fire.

Second grader Horatio: Principal, look at this cabbage! It can increase in value infinitely and even kill the basilisk in an instant!

Third grader Horatio: Principal, do you think this soul contract could arm the Dementors into my army of Soul Reapers?

Fourth grader Horatio: Headmaster, look, this gravity magic can pull down meteorites from outer space to strengthen Durmstrang and Beauxbatons College.

Fifth grade, Horatio: Principal, you said if I projected this mark onto the moon, everyone who saw it would be brainwashed into a believer in houttuynia cordata, and the houttuynia cordata I planted in the Forbidden Forest would sell like hotcakes.

Sixth grader Horatio: Headmaster, look! The tree that grows from this seed can convert cosmic energy into magical seeds. Then all of humanity can become wizards, mastering both technology and magic. Conquering the stars will be just around the corner!

Seventh grader Horatio: Principal, look...

Dumbledore: "Enough talk. Take out your wand. It's either you or me today."

(Updates are irregular, written for my own amusement and humor, featuring multiple female characters)

Dylan: "Voldemort, I just mastered the highest level of Unforgivable Curses. Please believe me, I am really a good kid. Just look at what I did in school!"

Professor McGonagall: "You mean the one where you defeated an entire gathering of Death Eaters with a hundred dementors a second, and the one where you were able to hang out with a bunch of Dementors and control them at will?"

Dylan: "No, I mean, there's not a single book in the library that I haven't read! I have full marks in all my courses, including magic! Even Voldemort was defeated by me using the Unforgivable Curses."

Professor McGonagall: "Yes, that's right. That group of cultists even want to nominate you as the new Dark Lord!"

Dylan: "Oh my god, professor, isn't this easy to solve? I can kill all these Death Eaters with an Avatar, and no one will want me to be the Dark Lord!"

Others learn magic for great benefits, but Noah learns magic simply to have fun.

Thus, the aged Nicolas Flamel became a bald, muscular boxing champion, Voldemort regressed to a five-year-old child, and the entire school was forced to go clubbing on their first day of school—from then on, the art style completely collapsed! —When an alchemist's pranks become his strongest weapon, the entire magical world becomes his playground!

This book will introduce: the son of a Squib, a pure-blood misfit, a master of inner sarcasm, Hogwarts’ duel maniac, the boxing champion of the wizarding world—Sean Bulstrode and his never-ending daily duels.