战锤杂谈.（一） 

Warhammer Miscellany (Part 1)

Being an Astartes isn't all about fighting and killing. To run a successful Chapter, one must also be worldly-wise and empathetic. Prejudices are as heavy as a mountain. Yet, the outside world's stereotypes about the Warhammer universe are always right. How can we build the Imperium of Mankind with these insects? We must build the Imperium of Mankind with these insects! From recruit to Chapter Master, a Space Marine will never admit to partial brain necrosis. Yet, from the Emperor to the Four Gods, the mighty powers of the Warp always want to make life easy for everyone. The holy God-Emperor once declared that he was not a god. Kaz Samar expressed complete indifference to the human gods' insistence on saying he wasn't a god. He kept saying, "Yes, yes, yes, I bow when I'm due, I kneel when I'm due." After centuries of hard work, Kaz finally became Chapter Master and was at his desk, writing his memoirs, attempting to record his eventful life for the Imperium. Then, a brash recruit barged into his room. "Chapter Master, promethium is half price in the next sector!" Alas, even the Imperium's demigods can't escape the chores of food, clothing, and daily necessities. He put down his personal memoirs and pulled out his chapter account book. Is there much in the bank? Not much.

当阿斯塔特不能只会打打杀杀。想搞好战团必须兼达世故人情。人心中的成见是一座大山。奈何外世对战锤宇宙的刻板印象都是对的。跟这帮虫豸一起怎能搞好人类帝国？跟这帮虫豸一起也得搞好人类帝国！从新兵到战团长，星际战士绝不承认脑子存在局部坏死。奈何自帝皇到四神，亚空间大能总想给大家伙整个好活。圣洁的神皇陛下曾经说过，他不是神。对于人类神非要说祂不是神的绝世好活，卡兹.萨马尔表示完全无所谓。嘴里说着对对对，该拜就拜，该跪就跪。打拼了几百年，终于当上战团长的卡兹正在伏案书写自己的回忆录，想要为帝国记录下自己波澜壮阔的一生。奈何冒失的新兵闯进他的房间。“战团长，隔壁星区钷素半价优惠！”唉，哪怕帝国的半神，也逃不开吃穿用度家长里短。放下个人回忆录，掏出战团帐目本。存款多乎哉？不多矣。