Hogwarts: Give the Headmaster a Boost

First grade, Horatio: Headmaster, look, use this scythe of mine to hook out the soul, then lock it in this lamp and roast it with the fire.

Second grader Horatio: Principal, look at this cabbage! It can increase in value infinitely and even kill the basilisk in an instant!

Third grader Horatio: Principal, do you think this soul contract could arm the Dementors into my army of Soul Reapers?

Fourth grader Horatio: Headmaster, look, this gravity magic can pull down meteorites from outer space to strengthen Durmstrang and Beauxbatons College.

Fifth grade, Horatio: Principal, you said if I projected this mark onto the moon, everyone who saw it would be brainwashed into a believer in houttuynia cordata, and the houttuynia cordata I planted in the Forbidden Forest would sell like hotcakes.

Sixth grader Horatio: Headmaster, look! The tree that grows from this seed can convert cosmic energy into magical seeds. Then all of humanity can become wizards, mastering both technology and magic. Conquering the stars will be just around the corner!

Seventh grader Horatio: Principal, look...

Dumbledore: "Enough talk. Take out your wand. It's either you or me today."

(Updates are irregular, written for my own amusement and humor, featuring multiple female characters)