I Have 30 Quadrillion Equipment Slots

[You've equipped a kitchen knife, Attack +1, gained the ability - Sharpness, your right hand can cut through any vegetables and meat.] [You've equipped a stone, Defense +2, gained the ability - Hardness, your stats can turn to stone, movement is unrestricted. Special note: that area doesn't work.] [You've equipped a telescope, gained the ability - Far-reaching vision, you can freely change your focus and see beautiful women far away. Friendly reminder: first pay attention to her eyes; if she doesn't notice you, then be bolder with your gaze.] [You've equipped an airplane, gained the ability - Flight, after a short run-up you can take off.]