Good news: I, Sasori of the Red Sand, was adopted by the Third Kazekage, a time-traveling version of myself, after suffering the massacre of my entire family at the age of five!

Bad news: This "guardian" is a bit hardcore—daily PUA and human experimentation are basic operations, and he even forced me to develop forbidden techniques that can instantly turn dead people into figurines? Fine, I'm naturally gifted anyway.

Worse still: As we raised him, both my guardian and I entered our rebellious phase. He suddenly developed a serious illness and wanted to rule the world, his first step being to turn my entire family into specimens. Since I wanted to pursue art, not culture, I had no choice but to tearfully turn him, a culture teacher, into a figurine.

Without a guardian, I just wanted to quietly pursue art, but the whole world came to accuse me of being a moving natural disaster?

So, I'll build a mechanical utopia in the desert, with food, lodging, and eternity provided, and incidentally cut some parts to use as "indulgences."

Wait, what do you mean the Five Great Nations, Akatsuki, and Madara Uchiha all want to "adopt" me, who's been temporarily released? And they're even bringing tailed beasts and the Rinnegan with them?

Kind tips:

The final interpretation of this breeding guide belongs to Sasori Akasago.

The main text and the synopsis differ greatly in style and will not change the villainous identity of the whitewashed scorpion. If you feel uncomfortable while reading, please exit immediately.

This book was guided by Scorpion Granny and contains numerous plot points and heavily modified settings to satisfy the author's personal morbid tastes. It's a product of self-indulgence and amusement. Don't doubt it if you see any discrepancies with the original work; those are modifications made by the author to satisfy Scorpion Granny. In addition, since this is the author's first time writing a fanfiction with more than ten chapters, inconsistencies and disjointed plots are to be expected.

Apocalypse + Rebirth + Super Battleship + Decisive Sofa Action + System + No Mary Sue: The world has entered a period of vast oceans, leaving only 5% of the planet's land and 80% of humanity perished! In his previous life, Li Tianyang was killed by those he had helped, who only wanted to steal his last bit of food. Now reborn a month before the apocalypse, Li Tianyang is bound to a super battleship system and begins building the strongest battleship in the post-apocalyptic world! A period of vast oceans? I have a super battleship to sweep across the globe! In the face of the apocalypse, others will give up everything for a bite to eat, but Li Tianyang, with his super battleship, can obtain any resource he desires! He can even grow vegetables in his own backyard! How about that?

Reborn into the world of *Dream of the Red Chamber*, he becomes an outlaw. While plundering ships, he discovers he looks exactly like Jia Lian, the eldest son of the Rongguo Duke's mansion. He immediately kills the man and impersonates him. In that instant, Jia Lian awakens a daily intelligence system. He takes his wife, Wang Xifeng, to Yangzhou to rescue Jia Min. Recommended by Lin Ruhai, he becomes a probationary commander in the Imperial Guard, escorting salt taxes and protecting Lin Ruhai's wife and daughters to the capital… Jia Lian's lifelong wish is simple: to be drunk on the lap of a beauty, to wield power over the world, with gold hairpins adorning his bed, and to be a force to be reckoned with. However, corrupt officials, years of natural disasters, widespread famine, foreign invasions, and the people's suffering are all precarious. Jia Lian must take up the banner and restore order… On that day, the retired emperor passes away. The old and frail emperor orders Xia Shouzhong, the Grand Eunuch of the Directorate of Ceremonial, to draft an edict: "Jia Lian has defiled the palace, secretly possessed armor, and plotted rebellion. His crimes are unforgivable. He is stripped of his…"

He transmigrated into the body of Ximen Qing, and the first woman he met was Qin Keqing from the Dream of the Red Chamber.

This great Song dynasty, like the crumbling Red Mansion, is on the verge of collapse.

I, the local tyrant of Qinghe County, have been thriving among the powerful and wealthy by relying on my skills as a traditional Chinese medicine doctor and my fake pharmacy.

With his godfather Cai Jing backing him up, taking down the four major families was a piece of cake.

I climbed and climbed!

He climbed up the ladder of power, and his connections with the four kings and eight dukes collapsed.

Having climbed to the top, I am now the only one left who holds absolute power!

He single-handedly stopped the billowing smoke of the southern invasion that led to annihilation!

[Lighthearted and humorous][Purely entertaining][Super socially conscious][Mischievous little devil][Alternate history][Archaeological elements][Little girlfriend][No nagging, no stifling, stifling is the author's fault][Super satisfying]

My name is Li Xiao, the "Xiao" in "arrogant".

Li Er: You unfilial son, you've gone too far...

Huh? Old Deng? You yelled at me? Hang it on the Taiji Hall.

Changsun Wuji: Your Majesty, I beg for the removal of Princess Changle on behalf of my son…

Huh? Uncle? He's after my sister? Incestuous relations? He's got a damn good reputation.

Cheng Yaojin: Your Majesty, waaaaah, my old ox, missing his deceased wife, jumped off a cliff and committed suicide yesterday.

Huh? Brother Cheng? The ox is dead again? I'll take it and hang it in the Taiji Hall first, so it won't bother me anymore.

Empress Zhangsun: Xiao'er, you little rascal, are you up to your old tricks again?

Huh? Me? Holy crap?

"Oh my, my dearest mother, I've missed you so much! You must be tired from walking. Let me give you a massage."

Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) is a hardworking forensic pathologist working within the police system. This allows him to conceal his secret identity—a cold-blooded killer—and use his position to target heinous criminals who escape justice. One day, just as he's about to execute a murderer... *ding*, system binding successful... Dexter's life undergoes a dramatic change.

[Starting with the Eternal Eye + Devouring System + Decisive Action + Mastermind]

Having traveled through the Fourth Shinobi World War, Uchiha Gen awakens in the Uchiha Holy Land, possessing the All-Encompassing Devouring System!

Battlefield? No, this is his hunting ground!

He devoured White Zetsu to gain the power of Wood Release; he devoured Edo Tensei powerhouses to seize their bloodline limits; he devoured Tailed Beasts to control the power of the Six Paths!

Madara Uchiha: "My Eye of the Moon Plan... why is there a loophole?"

Princess Kaguya: "His power of devouring is actually greater than mine!"

Naruto & Sasuke: "He is the greatest crisis in the ninja world!"

While the Allied Shinobi Forces were still fighting for peace, Uchiha Gen had already looked down upon all living beings. His goal was to devour Kaguya, seize the power of the gods, and establish the Uchiha Empire, where he reigned supreme!

To crush everything with absolute power and end the chaos with iron-fisted measures.

This is his definition of peace!

The story begins with me getting Su Wan, the wife of a billionaire CEO, pregnant with my child. But then my real husband, Lin Tiannan, the chosen one, calls to share the good news, excitedly calling me his "good brother"!

"Ding! The 'Unexpected Father' halo has been triggered!"

Awakening the Supreme Cao Thief System, I, Qin Feng, specialize in stealing the wives of the chosen ones, plundering their fortune, and making them personally send me to the top of the world, and then smilingly help me raise my children!

From this day forward, your glory, wealth, women, and even your proud offspring will all bear the surname Qin!

[Minor Illness][Multiple Female Leads][Strong Female Lead][Dual Civilizations] "My friend, your abilities will be a great lure, so I need you to achieve my goals. Similarly, this will help us develop our own weapon," Otto said. Zhong Li Mo silently agreed to Otto's proposal, thus sowing the seeds of her own downfall. "Sister... what are you going to do to my husband?!" "I won't let you disappear again... you will be by my side forever." "You mean our husband, whom we've waited fifty thousand years for, has been stolen by a bunch of paramecia?"

Gu Jiu's evil soul transmigrates to a high-martial arts world and happily acquires the identity of a super simp.

A young master from Beijing's elite circle is treated like a lapdog by a seemingly aloof college beauty.

The sole heir of the most powerful conglomerate family;

The only crown prince of the most powerful and aristocratic family;

The sole young master of the foremost martial arts family;

With such an impressive background, anyone who wants to be a simp can be one!

At the beginning, the school beauty asked Gu Jiuxie to buy luxury bags and sexy dresses to participate in the Crazy Horse Show to debut, but Gu Jiuxie resolutely refused and was bound to the villain's rage system.

[Ding! Congratulations, host, for shedding your sycophantic image and completing your martial arts foundation. Reward: Thunder Spirit Sacred Bone]

[Ding! Congratulations, host, for retrieving your sycophantic items and humiliating the school beauty. Reward: Nine Heavens Divine Thunder Technique]

【bite......】

Several years later,

The academic genius, the war god and the king of soldiers, the divine doctor protagonist... all the chosen ones have become the dead souls under Gu Jiuxie's palm.

On the battlefield beyond the realm, atop the white bones, Gu Jiuxie slowly raised his head, looked up at the sky, and whispered:

If this world has lost its protagonist, then what about the upper realm?