Good news: I, Sasori of the Red Sand, was adopted by the Third Kazekage, a time-traveling version of myself, after suffering the massacre of my entire family at the age of five!

Bad news: This "guardian" is a bit hardcore—daily PUA and human experimentation are basic operations, and he even forced me to develop forbidden techniques that can instantly turn dead people into figurines? Fine, I'm naturally gifted anyway.

Worse still: As we raised him, both my guardian and I entered our rebellious phase. He suddenly developed a serious illness and wanted to rule the world, his first step being to turn my entire family into specimens. Since I wanted to pursue art, not culture, I had no choice but to tearfully turn him, a culture teacher, into a figurine.

Without a guardian, I just wanted to quietly pursue art, but the whole world came to accuse me of being a moving natural disaster?

So, I'll build a mechanical utopia in the desert, with food, lodging, and eternity provided, and incidentally cut some parts to use as "indulgences."

Wait, what do you mean the Five Great Nations, Akatsuki, and Madara Uchiha all want to "adopt" me, who's been temporarily released? And they're even bringing tailed beasts and the Rinnegan with them?

Kind tips:

The final interpretation of this breeding guide belongs to Sasori Akasago.

The main text and the synopsis differ greatly in style and will not change the villainous identity of the whitewashed scorpion. If you feel uncomfortable while reading, please exit immediately.

This book was guided by Scorpion Granny and contains numerous plot points and heavily modified settings to satisfy the author's personal morbid tastes. It's a product of self-indulgence and amusement. Don't doubt it if you see any discrepancies with the original work; those are modifications made by the author to satisfy Scorpion Granny. In addition, since this is the author's first time writing a fanfiction with more than ten chapters, inconsistencies and disjointed plots are to be expected.