第1章 论死亡爪有几种碾法

How many ways are there to use Deathclaw?

I woke up to find myself, a glorious Soviet base vehicle AI, in a bizarre American wasteland—a place filled with atomic punk metal lumps and mutated giant cockroaches, even more outrageous than the heart of capitalism!

To restore order (and incidentally have some fun), I "recruited" a group of tribal natives who couldn't even put on their own pants. The most urgent task? Teaching them to speak magnificent Chinglish! After all, who can stand that incredibly complicated, unrelated native English?

And so, a bizarre sight appeared in the wasteland: a group of blond, blue-eyed burly men, speaking broken, construction-worker-accented English, shouting "Hurrah! For Ironhead God!", drove their magnetic tanks over mutants, followed by a swaying Kirov...

Hey, you over there, the shelter kid in the blue bodysuit, and those tin knights with laser guns, any complaints about the "Red Iron Curtain"? No? Very well, comrade, welcome to the Soviet wasteland!

一觉醒来，我，一个光荣的苏维埃基地车AI，发现自己被丢到了一个画风诡异的美利坚废土——到处是原子朋克铁皮疙瘩和变异大蟑螂，比资本主义的老巢还离谱！
为了重建秩序（顺便找点乐子），我“收编”了一群连裤子都穿不明白的部落土著。当务之急？当然是教他们说伟大的中式英文！毕竟，谁受得了那关联性超级麻烦的原英文？
于是，废土上出现了一道奇景：一群金发碧眼的壮汉，操着工地散装中式英文，高喊“乌拉！为了铁脑壳神！”，开着磁爆坦克碾过变种人，后面还跟着飘摇的基洛夫……
喂，那边那个穿蓝色紧身衣的避难所小子，还有那帮扛着激光枪的铁罐头骑士，你们对“红色铁幕”有什么意见吗？没有？很好，同志，欢迎来到苏维埃废土！