My name is Leo Wallace, a PhD student in history, and I'm $137,542.89 in debt. In the darkest moment of my life, I lost my job because I criticized a tech giant called "Omni" online, and they "optimized" my employment. I thought my life was going to be a classic Chinese comedy, until an intruder popped into my head. He said his name was Franklin Roosevelt—yes, the one on the 10-cent coin. "Kid, stop criticizing online, it's useless." "Want to mess with them? I'll teach you." "Our first step is to become mayor." And so, I, a keyboard warrior who couldn't even find a job, embarked on a magical path to running for president under his guidance. Wait, Mr. President, are you sure this Second Bill of Rights... isn't really going to...