I, Am a Living Yama; Empress Advises Me to Stay Calm

Yang Yi crossed over and unexpectedly awakened the Poison Expert System.

Empress: “The enemy country has already been destroyed, and there is only a seven-year-old child left in the palace. We are hesitating, what shall we do?”

Yang Yi: “Your Majesty, I believe that since this child dared to expose herself, there must be someone hiding. First, pretend to spare her, and then secretly return to see if she has any younger brothers or sisters hidden in the secret passageways. ‘Take care’ of all of them(Kill), and then make a grave for them and pretend to mourn for three years. If anyone comes to pay their respects, they must be her accomplices, and we can eliminate them all!”

Crowd: “???”

Is this guy a Living Yama alive!???

Empress: “You were supposed to provide disaster relief, but you’re adding sand to the porridge? Are you the Living Yama?”

Yang Yi: “Let’s see if it works to save refugees, Your Majesty.”

Empress: “Now there are rumors out there that the reason I remain single is because I like women. How should we deal with this damage to my reputation?”

Yang Yi: “Your Majesty’s reputation is of the utmost importance. As a strategist, I’ll sacrifice myself and imp**gnate you, and the rumors will naturally dissipate!”

Empress: “Then get rid of those vixens, you scoundrel!”

After waking up, Xu Xiu, a graduate student in the Faculty of Literature at the University of Tokyo, traveled to Tokyo where the bubble had just burst.

At this time, Japan's economy was in recession and the people were confused, and literature, the only thing that could comfort the soul, seemed to have been cut off.

There was no Natsume Soseki, no Kawabata Yasunari, no Murakami Haruki... Japanese literature of this era was dominated by a group of inferior writers that Xu Xiu had never heard of.

So he picked up a pen and wrote a novella called "Hear the Wind Sing" for a living and for an interesting and meaningful new life.

At this point, people realized that a writer worthy of the title of literary giant had finally appeared in the bubble era.

Kicked out of her home by biased parents and a vicious sister, Su Tao decides to cut ties with them completely. She’d rather starve, freeze, or wander the streets for a lifetime than ever go back.

By a twist of fate, she binds to the “Landlady System,” which grants her a 3,000-square-meter safe zone.

While her scummy dad’s family crams into a single room, barely scraping by, Su Tao lives alone, tidying up her cozy little home, building new houses one after another. When business booms, finding a room becomes nearly impossible.

On the side, she plays with cats and dogs, meets a group of powerful tenants, and relies on collecting rent to become a little rich lady, living her life to the fullest.

To sum up in a sentence, transmigrating to different worlds to wash slag men white every day, the goal is to become a good man!

Note: slag men refer to men who play with women’s hearts aka scum and washing white means to come clean, fix up your life.

"How did you get on the star train and take the road to the star god?"

“Because I ended Honkai and changed everyone’s destiny.

""So the first step in your path is to become a hero? "

"No, I'm looking for thighs everywhere in order to survive."

"and then?"

Ryan adjusted his glasses and said loudly: "I have become a thigh myself."

No heroine + no CP + sand sculpture text

(ps: This article is just a funny and everyday article, don’t take it seriously!)

If you're feeling down, take a look! My dear readers, while there may be many disappointments in the world, please believe that within those bumps and crevices lies the sweetness secretly buried by fate. If you're unhappy, then consider yourself the protagonist and grow with them! The author will write a happy and carefree world for you.

What is a child of destiny? A child of destiny is someone who is pursued and fed by God, destined to be high and mighty, and admired by others.

Shen Wei (Shen Yunhan) is an unlucky guy who was killed by the system. His world was compensated to the system and asked to pay off the debt. He was then taken to the world of cultivation to be reincarnated. All he needs to do is complete the system's tasks and become a favored child of heaven.

What should I do if I have poor qualifications and no skills worth buying?

It doesn't matter. He's showing off his uniqueness from the moment he's born. Isn't there a high-tech 5D special effect? ​​It's guaranteed to be immersive, inspiring admiration before he's even born...

But who can tell him! Becoming a Prodigy is something he has to learn on his own! What the hell is this Prodigy system? It's a rubbish system! It's a complete scam! Bah!

People have been learning for more than a thousand years since they were in the womb. Even after ten thousand years of twists and turns, they are still short-legged boys.

Reporter: "Mr. Chihara, everyone says you are a living legend, the pinnacle of human intellect, and the contemporary god of Go. How did you achieve such success? What lessons can ordinary people learn from you?"

Hiroshi Chihara: "As Edison once said, genius—"

Reporter: "I know that one percent is inspiration and ninety-nine percent is hard work. Mr. Chihara, are you saying that as long as you put in diligence and effort, you can succeed, right?"

Hiroshi Chihara's gaze was as if he were caring for a child with intellectual disabilities, and the reporter couldn't help but lower his head in shame.

"There is another sentence: 'But that one percent inspiration is the most important, even more important than the ninety-nine percent perspiration.'"

What I really want to say is that my experience is useless to ordinary people because—

general...

After traveling to the world of immortal cultivation, he thought that man could conquer nature, but he didn't expect that his aptitude was too poor. After practicing hard for thirty years, he could only reach the third level of Qi training. Looking back on the past, he missed too much. When he saw himself clearly and took another path, he was shocked to find that it was not too late.

Not long after Ning Wan was ‘banished’ to a rural neighbourhood by Zhengyuan Law Firm headquarters, a second victim was exiled to join her.

Vivacious, tall, handsome, a complete gentleman, he exuded the unique aura…

…of a character likely to die off-screen in a historical drama. Were he to become a community lawyer, he would surely end up berated by middle-aged aunties until he cried a river and came to doubt life. He was a big, silly softie, a newbie easy to pick on!

Ning Wan decided that she would beat this poor neglected novice into shape—

“Fu Zheng, isn’t it? Newcomers here must be obedient and discerning.”

“When I dig a pit, you’ll fill it in. When I eat meat, you’ll drink the broth. When I head east, you can’t head west. In short, consider me your God in this remote wilderness beyond the reach of the government.”

Although a little silly, the newbie was handsome, obedient, and tactful. She developed a soft spot for him and decided to impart the ultimate skills she had cultivated for a lifetime: how to shift the blame; how to loaf on the job; how to pay lip service to the boss.

She was very sincere, holding nothing back—

“Truthfully, my unique skills are not without cost. I advise you to like me as soon as possible. Let me analyze the advantages and disadvantages of liking me…”

That big, silly softie, Fu Zheng, succumbed to her coercion and temptation. From that day on, he devoted himself to Ning Wan.

Half a year later, Ning Wan attended the annual meeting at headquarters. There, she was introduced to the new senior partner…

A vivacious, tall, handsome gentleman.

“Hello everyone, I’m Fu Zheng,” he grinned. “I joined this firm to get rid of the bad atmosphere, such as: shifting the blame, loafing on the job, and paying lip service to the boss…”

‘Fu Zheng, you—! Goddammit! This is fraud!’

If you were asked to start practicing martial arts at the age of 30, how far would you be able to go?

Du Ruo: If no one comes to debunk the fake, I can also become a "martial arts master".

Then, can you directly master martial arts skills by refining them into knowledge?

Du Ruo: I will take it as my responsibility to promote traditional martial arts.

In addition, practicing martial arts can gain attribute points, which can be used to strengthen the spirit?

Du Ruo: I heard that there was a Kun Dao named Xie Ziran in the Tang Dynasty. She ascended to heaven in broad daylight under the witness of thousands of people and was recorded in the history books. I also want to try it.

At the age of 30, Du Ruo extracted skills from the game. As long as he practiced in reality, he could gain attribute points to add points to himself. How will he achieve breaking the void and ascending to heaven in broad daylight in the real world?

And facing the temptation of fame, wealth, and beauty on this road, how should he choose.

Du Ruo: I want them all!!!